Thursday, February 26, 2009

Life is a Highway

“Parag, you are a rash driver”
“WHAT?” I was shocked and deeply offended. This was my just 2nd lesson with the lady (first was in parking lot) and considering the way I drive all other vehicles – this was so wrong. As I was watching the instructor in disbelief, to prove me wrong and her owner (instructor) right, the car suddenly decided to follow a sinusoidal path across all lanes. What followed was a series of honks and fingers coming out of other cars. Hell, bad timing! Who in their right minds would take a new innocent student on a highway, so what if he has brains of Einstein. huh? (Ok…I did cross the line there. But nothings prevents you from believing it so go ahead)

This incident left a deep impression on my heart and I decided to be extra cautious with these four wheelers. But as luck would have it, by the end of the lessons , I fell in love … Oh No not with that crazy instructor - I mean with driving. Slowly, the fact that I have a special love for all vehicles dawned on me. ‘Love for an open road’ – that’s another beautiful way to put it .

So this post is dedicated to all those ‘special’ relationships I had in my life –

1.Hero Hansa – This was my first cycle. First love. Pahila pyar. But it was not a love at first sight – it was not even a first choice but rather a forced choice. But I had lot of fun. She was partner in various ‘first’ adventures – like going on highways , visiting busy streets in centre of city, trying ‘ maine pyar kiya’ cycle stunts (I-save-money-by-using-only-one-wheel) etc. She made me visit doc once in a while and left scars commemorating the event –but who cares? It was good old days. Well, like any other ‘pahila pyar’, the infatuation slowly started fading – and the fact that it was after 7-8 years speaks about the seriousness of the whole affair. Madam Hansa was lately becoming a ‘high-maintenance’ types. Almost every week she has to undergo some cosmetic (and functional) surgery. One day after school, when she started throwing tantrums, in utter frustration I kicked her badly and walked back all the way home from school , holding princess ‘hansa’ in hand and refusing to show her to any mechanic ever. Yes, those were the innocent days when I used to emotionally blackmail my cycle.
As I entered the college life, I had to go through my first ever break up – with my cycle.
“We need to talk” I told her one evening.
She was standing silently in corner. Two-tired – I mean, too tired to say anything. She knew what was coming .
I continued “Its me, not your fault dear” .
”Is there somebody else?” She asked silently without words.
“hmmm. Yes”.
Well, the ‘somebody else’ was our new Luna.

2.Luna –It felt good initially to graduate from manual labor of cycle to wonders of machines. We had a scooter earlier and so compared to scooter, luna was a cake walk. Speeding with a twist of a wrist was all fun.
Luna was as crazy as ‘Luna Lovegood’. But she was caring – or at least I thought so. Somedays she would leak petrol over the road drop by drop ,marking the path travelled ,just to make sure her owner returns back home safely without any navigational problems. Sometimes my enthusiasm for college classes would match with hers and she won’t start. What a loyal friend! Back then, I had adopted a strategy - ‘Start early, go slowly and reach safely’ – Ofcourse ‘Go slowly” was the only part that was religiously followed , thanks to luna. She was so slow that the only objects ‘moving’ slowly than her were all stationary. So when the world was whooshing past me on high speed vehicles, I was slowly moving(Correct word – crawling) on the streets on A’bad on my Luna. It gave me a lot of time to think about everything under the sun, developing my analytical skills and philosophical wisdom and yes, that all thinking led me to name this ‘content-rich-philosophical’ blog of mine as ‘’Luna’tic thoughts’! (huushhh…its pure hard work giving ‘subtle’ hints of my qualities like this)

3.Mazda – I jumped on Car from Luna (figuratively) because of my onsite assignment in US. When I first saw black colored Mazda – I knew I was going to buy her. Love at first sight. Well,she was not a new car – rather she was ‘Draupadi” – if you count the number of her ex-owners. We (I mean me and Car – not the previous owners) shared a real good mature relationship. I knew she was old so I wouldn’t force her beyond limit. Also because of that incident I mentioned above – I was very careful. Driving is fun – I realized this because of mazda. Well, my very first few trips with Mazda can easily match with voyages of Columbus – in terms of spirit, adventure, dedication to cause etc and errr…I confess, in navigational skills as well – or rather lack of it . I would decide to go somewhere, say, a temple (wow..good example..you are so religious..ha ha ha).Fifteen minutes on the road and I would be heading towards a dead-end in some corner of the city or driving on some godforsaken road (yes, godforsaken because the god and that temple would be far away from it). I was too proud (read: foolish) to use GPS then. But sure, that was fun. When you get lost –esp in night on some far away road –there comes a microsecond moment of panic and once that gets over – you get an exhilarating and liberating feeling. It becomes a challenging task of finding your way back home (which typically ends by calling some friends who, sitting in front of laptop, navigate you to the destination. Yes, I agree, now that doesn’t sound so heroic).

Hmmm. Well, this concludes the relationships I had so far in my life. It would be highly ungrateful of me if I don’t mention black beauty Pulsar –the bike I am currently using for last few weeks. Its not my bike but my friend’s (Swapnil). Being a friend’s “Amanat” , I don’t expect this relationship to ever turn into something serious (read: ownership). So Swapnil don’t worry man :)

Well, friends, time to say goodbye and hit the road.
‘Yours truly’ kick starts the bike stylishly in a single stroke.(‘Dude, You don’t need to do that. It’s a push-button start’- Swapnil).
Hmmmmmm…….(a thougthful pause).
Anyways, he jumps on the bike and vrroooom….within seconds bike disappears into Pune's maddening traffic.

Hasta la vista!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

2009 : New Year Resolutions

Hello everybody.Happy New Year 2009.

Did somebody just said "Wake up dude. Its already Feb and here you are, talking about new year resolutions. Whats wrong?".

Well, I have my reasons. When the whole world was celebrating new year, I was busy packing my bags (Read: Talking on phone for 16 hrs everyday, telling everybody that I am going back to India and expressing deep concern regarding my packing).So the point is – I was damn busy and so decided to start new year a bit late – that is, after I got settled in India. Time has come for me to make new year's resolutions and I have decided to share this 'why-he-is-telling-me-this' information with you.
Here it comes.

1.Healthy Body –
FLASHBACK – 3 yrs back : We all roomies decided to follow the motto – health is wealth. The other day, when everybody was sleepy after dinner, we innocently decided to go for jogging starting NEXT Monday.
So far so good!
On that fateful Monday morning, this is what happened –
"Woooo-hoooo, Monday morning. Let's go for jogging" Of Course Me. Ok…I was not that enthusiastic but it feels good now thinking that way.
Kedar (opening his eyes slowly) : "Monday? Jogging? You mean today? Are you sure? "
Well, I was sure few mins back but now…...
Shardul (Because of size of his eyes , I am not sure now if it was open or close, but he said confidently) – "I think its raining."
For the beginners, this conversation happened in Pune in month of Jan – NOT IN Cherapunji!
Anuj –who was sleeping near window, immediately got up – I was expecting some affirmative words and action from this guy .He looked out of window on the road below. As the fate would have it, a lonely PMT bus was roaring down the road at the same time. In his most convincing and matter-of-factly voice Anuj declared – "We are late. Heavy traffic on the road. Can't go today".
Well, what happened next is nobrainer. We all went back to sleep.

Fast forward to today - With that experience on back of my mind, this year I have decided to go for jogging alone and I am going to do it starting NEXT Monday. (Fact is I am trying to motivate my roomies with this "Ekla chalo re" stuff…and believe me its working.)
So, if you are in Pune and see some handsome, smart dude running in the morning, its me!

2.Healthy Mind – Last year I suffered because of Procrastination. To be more precise, I suffered because of the guilt that comes with procrastination. Finally, I have decided to change. Yes, Change – we can all believe in!
So my two step plan for this Change –
STEP 1 - This year I am not going to entertain any guilt feeling. I am going to get rid of this nasty 'guilt' attitude. So even if I procrastinate this year – I am not going to let myself feel guilty about it.
STEP 2 - As a second & final step - I am going to handle the actual problem of Procrastination sometime next year 2010. Sure! Pakka!

3.Knowledge and Learning – Read lot of books. I love reading – but last year was different. Last year I read a lot of good books like –Calvin and Hobbes, Peanuts , Charles Adams cartoons collection (very good dark humour) , Far side gallery (again very interesting cartoon series and book) – and NewYorker's collection of cartoons. After going through all these picture books, I am loosing my confidence of words ,so this year, and here comes my resolution, I am going to read some mature serious books. I have already started with that but any suggestions are most welcomed!

4.Family - After being away for last 3 yrs – I am planning to devote more time to my family. Adwait, my sister's son recently broke my record by becoming the youngest member of our family to ride the Bicycle.hmmm…a difficult record to break I must say.Being a good-sport, I have handled this "record-breaking stuff" quite maturely (tried to hide his cycle for 1 day) and now, I have decided to coach him to break some other records of mine (Yeah..there are lot).This will help in restoring my respect in the family.

5.Friends – What this slowing economy needs is more people like my friends who will spend lot of their money this year ON ME. Guys, we have to make this "Economy" thing work. With a sense of urgency and responsibility, let's start planning for some party, picnics etc …so who is next?

With all these resolutions, I know the year 2009 will be a more fulfilling and rewarding experience for me. I understand there will moments of doubt and sometimes moments of frustration on this long road, but the men of strong will and determination have always passed every test of time. So with this heavy, senti and philosophical note, I am closing this post. Wish me luck with resolutions! See you soon.

(Blog post closing with a smart,handsome dude walking towards rising sun. "Sapnose bhare naina…" playing in background)

:)

PS - Prasad, in ref to your comments on last post and my recurring use of words like 'smart,handsome' here, I am giving you a chance to use some words like – "self-appreciating-but-true-honest-facts-of-life" etc :)


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Flirting with gravity

Few months back, I was talking to my old buddy Ghar on phone.

We were discussing some 'serious' things in life - how there is scarcity of 'serious things', how some 'serious things' were not 'that' serious, how some 'serious things' are getting married to some funny things etc etc.
After talking about everything there is to talk ,Ghar asked me finally -
"Jevan Zale ka?"
Now, this is not a question - though it looks like one.
This is a code-questions amongst few of us friends which means - 'I am bored to death now. Let's stop this nonsense and not talk to each for few more weeks, months - years if possible'.

Being a good friend, I ignored it completely and told Ghar that as I am heading back to India in few weeks, I have a bucket list to finish before I kick the US bucket. I told him that skiing is one of the things top in my list.
Now, I know Ghar for years and this is the kind of stuff that excites him.
"Let's do it this weekend then" Ghar.
"...hmmmm......." Whenever I come up with some great idea which requires immediate action, my brain goes through age-old "fight-flight" war.
"?" Ghar.
"Dude, they are forecasting snow-storm this weekend"
"huh....is that a good thing or bad?" Ghar.
"Good question. Theoretically, snow storm means more snow and it should help skiing. But considering we need to drive to ski resort, it might be dangerous for driving" Analysis!
"So?"
"so there are high chances that we might die while driving rather than while skiing" I tried to put things in perspective.
Ghar, I sensed, for some reason was not listening to my remarks and finally said those motivating words -
"Let's do it yaar."
I,too, finally managed to mask 'flight' with 'fight' bravely and said "Sure. This weekend then".

Being engineers and working in IT industry, we thought of having some plan for this ski trip- just in case. I think the plan serves some purpose - its like a project report that goes with actual project. Somehow it is supposed help but at the end of it - and let's be honest here - it just has a fictional value.So Our plan was like -
1.Rent a Car
2.Go to nearby ski resort
3.Ski like 'Pros'
4.Take few (Gb) snaps
5.Come back and tell big tales of ski adventure.
6.Create an expense report for the trip and add it to our repository of expense reports.(Man, next generation gonna face some herculean task of settling the gharpure -kulkarni family account).

Alok also joined the gang and the weekend was finalized for Ski Adventure. So after a long, hard and tiring journey (2 hrs drive in a comfortable rental car), the brave men arrived at the ski resort.We all three were so focused and serious about this ski stuff that as soon as we parked our car, unanimously we decided to hit, errr....well,resturent first. After a heavy lunch and pondering over –'if we decide to go back and sleep comfortably in this lazy winter afternoon, would that still be counted as ski- adventure?' , we decided to focus on job at hand - skiing.

I could see the respect and admiration in eyes of the lady at information booth. Maybe she never came across such a group of talented youngsters. After telling her about 'details' of our experience in skiing, she suggested us "Beginners Ski package -ticket, lesson & rentals".

Now, as usual, we were late for the lesson. We rushed though the different buildings trying to figure out which was rental store. Finally we got to right place and got the equipments for skiing which included- skis, two heavy locks for your feet which won't allow you to run away with these precious equipments aka ski boots and two poles.We were asked to report to lesson area and we walked for days and days before reaching there...okk...it was near but it felt like days .Thanks to 'why-its-so-heavy' Boots.

Our instructor gave us a crash course on use of different ski equipments. For some weird reason, the instructor decided to start the lesson uphill – actually, a few yards uphill from the place where I was standing. As I approached the class - I sensed that, somehow, even if those were my very first moments of skiing - I was doing too good to be true. Although, in wrong direction! In my desperate attempts to be part of the class, I was trying to ski uphill and for some more weirder reason (Newtonian Gravity I suppose) , I was going backwards smoothly. I did real good for few microseconds before I fell down on my back.

Now, by this time our instructor got hold of the fact that I was a 'gifted' student. so she came near me and said
"(Thinking : why? God why, why its always me who end up with dumb students like this) Loudly : Well, Its fine. There are 2 techniques to get up when you fall down like this. A hard one and a simple one. Which one would you like to learn?"
"Hard one'" I said bravely.
Doubting my learning abilities she said - "OK...let me teach you the easier one".
Now, honestly, I don't know if this is easier one or hard one but this is what she taught me and I mastered it in no time. So, let me enlighten you with - 'Idiot's (Errr….I mean reader not author) guide on How to get up from ski- fall?'
First when you fall, give yourself 2 mins. Open your eyes slowly and check if you are still alive. Now, If you see your friends nearby -there are two possibilities : you are still alive (and still part of that expense report) or you are in hell. So once you make sure that you are alive and you don't need any urgent medical help (your insurance does not cover such injuries is a great motivating factor in deciding that ) - you can follow the next instructions. Lie flat on your stomach and spread out hands and legs like a "curious" cat on highway ran over by a truck...…ok ok......thats a bad example maybe, but you got the idea right? Now, slowly get up on your knees .With the help of poles push yourself up and stand on your feet. Now, you are back to vertical position, enjoy it while you can , before dear gravity pulls you back.

Our instructor taught us how to -
(1) Go downhill smoothly and stop slowly
(2) How to take a left turn and then stop
(3) How to make a right turn and then stop

Well, my response to all these 'different' activities was - go downhill and fall.Gravity had been good to me in my entire life so far but that fateful day was different. But just for variety – I mastered to fall left or right at will.Believe me if you can but I was doing real good.

On one of such practice session - I was standing on top of hill contemplating my smooth landing which I was sure, was going to take place this time - doing some mental calculation of angle of inclination, softness of snow and speed of wind etc.(Analysis!). While i was busy with that - I heard a little girl's cry for help. Now imagine this - spidey is standing on top of Empire state building and hears a cry for help from street below OR Superman standing on a super-hill hears some super-cry from the super-city he has been watching with his super-eyes Or Batman being called to rescue Gotham city - the point is , I did what (we) superheroes normally do - No, No, nothing to do with tight costumes, Mann, we sure have some wild imagination! - So, I jumped and started skiing towards the kid. Now, this was the situation where a experienced person like me could help. This was my moment of glory.I guess the kid was around for some time and had been watching me with my 'maneuvers' (Aaaaaaaa......sound fading slowly into distance followed by a crash). So, as I approached her, she started crying loudly (Did I see fear in her eyes thinking I might fall on her and crush her to death? I won't tell you that). But surprise ,surprise, I elegantly stopped near her - without falling of course.

In my special patronizing voice I said -"Kiddo, its ok falling down like this. There are 2 techniques to get...." and she started crying out loudly again! Mann, kids these days don't want to listen. Finally, I gave up on my unsolicited and unpaid lessons to her and gave her a hand instead so she could stand up up. I felt sad as she missed the opportunity of lifetime to learn from an expert.hmmm.

Now, it was getting dark so per our plan we started storing our memories on memory stick pro duo - some action packed poses - ofcourse, not necessarily taken during 'action'.
Well, we all were tired - so with heavy heart (and light body - we finally got rid of that 'I-love-falling' boots) - we decided to call it a day. And what a day it was - I really enjoyed all the 'ski - stuff'.

For all those who never did skiing , my advice to you is - Do visit the nearest ski-area asap and if you see me there , please GET OUT OF MY WAY (AAAAAAaaaaaaa.......sound fading slowly in distance).

Gravity is reality,indeed!