Flirting with gravity

Few months back, I was talking to my old buddy Ghar on phone.

We were discussing some 'serious' things in life - how there is scarcity of 'serious things', how some 'serious things' were not 'that' serious, how some 'serious things' are getting married to some funny things etc etc.
After talking about everything there is to talk ,Ghar asked me finally -
"Jevan Zale ka?"
Now, this is not a question - though it looks like one.
This is a code-questions amongst few of us friends which means - 'I am bored to death now. Let's stop this nonsense and not talk to each for few more weeks, months - years if possible'.

Being a good friend, I ignored it completely and told Ghar that as I am heading back to India in few weeks, I have a bucket list to finish before I kick the US bucket. I told him that skiing is one of the things top in my list.
Now, I know Ghar for years and this is the kind of stuff that excites him.
"Let's do it this weekend then" Ghar.
"...hmmmm......." Whenever I come up with some great idea which requires immediate action, my brain goes through age-old "fight-flight" war.
"?" Ghar.
"Dude, they are forecasting snow-storm this weekend"
"huh....is that a good thing or bad?" Ghar.
"Good question. Theoretically, snow storm means more snow and it should help skiing. But considering we need to drive to ski resort, it might be dangerous for driving" Analysis!
"So?"
"so there are high chances that we might die while driving rather than while skiing" I tried to put things in perspective.
Ghar, I sensed, for some reason was not listening to my remarks and finally said those motivating words -
"Let's do it yaar."
I,too, finally managed to mask 'flight' with 'fight' bravely and said "Sure. This weekend then".

Being engineers and working in IT industry, we thought of having some plan for this ski trip- just in case. I think the plan serves some purpose - its like a project report that goes with actual project. Somehow it is supposed help but at the end of it - and let's be honest here - it just has a fictional value.So Our plan was like -
1.Rent a Car
2.Go to nearby ski resort
3.Ski like 'Pros'
4.Take few (Gb) snaps
5.Come back and tell big tales of ski adventure.
6.Create an expense report for the trip and add it to our repository of expense reports.(Man, next generation gonna face some herculean task of settling the gharpure -kulkarni family account).

Alok also joined the gang and the weekend was finalized for Ski Adventure. So after a long, hard and tiring journey (2 hrs drive in a comfortable rental car), the brave men arrived at the ski resort.We all three were so focused and serious about this ski stuff that as soon as we parked our car, unanimously we decided to hit, errr....well,resturent first. After a heavy lunch and pondering over –'if we decide to go back and sleep comfortably in this lazy winter afternoon, would that still be counted as ski- adventure?' , we decided to focus on job at hand - skiing.

I could see the respect and admiration in eyes of the lady at information booth. Maybe she never came across such a group of talented youngsters. After telling her about 'details' of our experience in skiing, she suggested us "Beginners Ski package -ticket, lesson & rentals".

Now, as usual, we were late for the lesson. We rushed though the different buildings trying to figure out which was rental store. Finally we got to right place and got the equipments for skiing which included- skis, two heavy locks for your feet which won't allow you to run away with these precious equipments aka ski boots and two poles.We were asked to report to lesson area and we walked for days and days before reaching there...okk...it was near but it felt like days .Thanks to 'why-its-so-heavy' Boots.

Our instructor gave us a crash course on use of different ski equipments. For some weird reason, the instructor decided to start the lesson uphill – actually, a few yards uphill from the place where I was standing. As I approached the class - I sensed that, somehow, even if those were my very first moments of skiing - I was doing too good to be true. Although, in wrong direction! In my desperate attempts to be part of the class, I was trying to ski uphill and for some more weirder reason (Newtonian Gravity I suppose) , I was going backwards smoothly. I did real good for few microseconds before I fell down on my back.

Now, by this time our instructor got hold of the fact that I was a 'gifted' student. so she came near me and said
"(Thinking : why? God why, why its always me who end up with dumb students like this) Loudly : Well, Its fine. There are 2 techniques to get up when you fall down like this. A hard one and a simple one. Which one would you like to learn?"
"Hard one'" I said bravely.
Doubting my learning abilities she said - "OK...let me teach you the easier one".
Now, honestly, I don't know if this is easier one or hard one but this is what she taught me and I mastered it in no time. So, let me enlighten you with - 'Idiot's (Errr….I mean reader not author) guide on How to get up from ski- fall?'
First when you fall, give yourself 2 mins. Open your eyes slowly and check if you are still alive. Now, If you see your friends nearby -there are two possibilities : you are still alive (and still part of that expense report) or you are in hell. So once you make sure that you are alive and you don't need any urgent medical help (your insurance does not cover such injuries is a great motivating factor in deciding that ) - you can follow the next instructions. Lie flat on your stomach and spread out hands and legs like a "curious" cat on highway ran over by a truck...…ok ok......thats a bad example maybe, but you got the idea right? Now, slowly get up on your knees .With the help of poles push yourself up and stand on your feet. Now, you are back to vertical position, enjoy it while you can , before dear gravity pulls you back.

Our instructor taught us how to -
(1) Go downhill smoothly and stop slowly
(2) How to take a left turn and then stop
(3) How to make a right turn and then stop

Well, my response to all these 'different' activities was - go downhill and fall.Gravity had been good to me in my entire life so far but that fateful day was different. But just for variety – I mastered to fall left or right at will.Believe me if you can but I was doing real good.

On one of such practice session - I was standing on top of hill contemplating my smooth landing which I was sure, was going to take place this time - doing some mental calculation of angle of inclination, softness of snow and speed of wind etc.(Analysis!). While i was busy with that - I heard a little girl's cry for help. Now imagine this - spidey is standing on top of Empire state building and hears a cry for help from street below OR Superman standing on a super-hill hears some super-cry from the super-city he has been watching with his super-eyes Or Batman being called to rescue Gotham city - the point is , I did what (we) superheroes normally do - No, No, nothing to do with tight costumes, Mann, we sure have some wild imagination! - So, I jumped and started skiing towards the kid. Now, this was the situation where a experienced person like me could help. This was my moment of glory.I guess the kid was around for some time and had been watching me with my 'maneuvers' (Aaaaaaaa......sound fading slowly into distance followed by a crash). So, as I approached her, she started crying loudly (Did I see fear in her eyes thinking I might fall on her and crush her to death? I won't tell you that). But surprise ,surprise, I elegantly stopped near her - without falling of course.

In my special patronizing voice I said -"Kiddo, its ok falling down like this. There are 2 techniques to get...." and she started crying out loudly again! Mann, kids these days don't want to listen. Finally, I gave up on my unsolicited and unpaid lessons to her and gave her a hand instead so she could stand up up. I felt sad as she missed the opportunity of lifetime to learn from an expert.hmmm.

Now, it was getting dark so per our plan we started storing our memories on memory stick pro duo - some action packed poses - ofcourse, not necessarily taken during 'action'.
Well, we all were tired - so with heavy heart (and light body - we finally got rid of that 'I-love-falling' boots) - we decided to call it a day. And what a day it was - I really enjoyed all the 'ski - stuff'.

For all those who never did skiing , my advice to you is - Do visit the nearest ski-area asap and if you see me there , please GET OUT OF MY WAY (AAAAAAaaaaaaa.......sound fading slowly in distance).

Gravity is reality,indeed!